Mommy Chillmode and Daddy Downtime….Do you hit the G-SPOT?By Kristin Fields Mauer
By Kristin Fields Mauer
Let’s chat about “MOMMY CHILLMODE and DADDY DOWNTIME”. I think I speak on behalf of the vast majority of working and stay-at-home parents alike when I say these words loosely translate to: mystical, ultra-rad, completely dream-worthy, yet totally fictitious and unattainable states-of-being. Perhaps delusional suggestions of enlightenment such as these might actually exist in an alternate universe, void of any day jobs, laundry, homework, soccer practices, well-baby checks and dinner prep. But I can’t help but wonder, do we as parents truly deem ourselves ‘too busy’ to fit some relaxation into our schedules every once in a great while?
Well, I’m here to tell you… I DON’T THINK SO.
I’m just not buying it anymore! As a matter of fact, I think it’s something else entirely. I think we all glorify the idea of being busy. Quite frankly, I think our society wraps up the “state of busyness” in a colorful, happy little package, slaps it with a big, bright, bouncy red bow and then acts as though it’s the most glorious gift of attainment one could ever receive! If you don’t believe me, just read the Facebook statuses of your friends and family. It seems as though someone is always pointing out how there’s just “not enough hours in the day” or “so much to do, so little time” or my personal all-time favorite is when I stumble upon that friend who uses her status bar as her “To Do” list. It typically reads something like this “kids to school, full day of work, hit the grocery, whipped up dinner, cleaned the kitchen and FINALLY BEDTIME!” Look, I’m not beating anyone up. I’m guilty of it too! But why do we base our self-worth on how many things we can squeeze onto our (and our kid’s) agendas? Well, I have a theory, albeit a potentially controversial theory. I think it all boils down to one thing and one thing only…. THE G-SPOT.
Yep, you read that correctly. THE G-SPOT. Back in the B.C. or “before children” era, the word “G-SPOT” meant something entirely different. But now it has taken on a whole, new meaning. The G-SPOT in the P.C. or “post children” era translates to the GUILT SPOT.
Is it just me, or do we parents scoff at the grandiose idea that we actually deserve a break-up with busy from time to time? Why do we feel this incessant need to go from one thing on the list to the next? And typically these things on our list revolve around our children. Granted, our children are our most prized possessions. They absolutely should be at the very tip-top of all our decision-making and priorities. But maybe we could all benefit from just chilling the heck out a bit and dialing down the obsessive-compulsive helicopter parenting and scheduling of it all. Maybe I’m crazy, but I actually have the desire from time to time to veg on my couch, on a weeknight, before midnight rolls around to watch a full-length movie in it’s entirety. That means from beginning to end, in one sitting on the same day, without incessantly hitting the pause button to change a diaper, break up sibling rivalry or help with 6th grade math homework. Is that so selfish? NO. It’s not. So why do I sometimes feel as though I’m drowning in the G-SPOT? It’s like I’m committing the ultimate crime of self-indulgence because we’re forcing our 10 and 12 year olds to leave the room and find something to do for 90 minutes on their own. This sort of guilt cannot be normal and it certainly cannot be healthy! After all, it’s not like an hour of “me time” at a favorite restaurant with your significant other was willingly and consciously exchanged for a life sentence of “story time” at the local library the moment your precious tater tot popped out of the oven! Right? Can I get an “amen” out there somewhere?
But guess what? The reality is that we all hit the G-SPOT from time to time. Even for little things, like eating chocolate while the kids are at school or GOD FORBID napping with the 1-year-old when the dishes need to be washed. Truth is, I’ve decided that Mommy chill-mode and Daddy downtime is not only important, it’s necessary! I know we don’t do it enough in our own house and I know that sometimes when we do, the G-SPOT creeps up when we least expect it. But I’m beginning to realize, we’re not truly capable of putting our kids first, if we’re always putting ourselves last.
With that in mind, I’m going to make an effort to consciously avoid the G-SPOT tonight by washing my kid’s soccer socks, making some yummy dinner and then drinking a very large glass of red wine whilst completely spacing out for at least 90 minutes. A little balance goes a long way!
What’s on your agenda?
Kristin and her husband Josh make their home in Norfolk, Virginia where she joyfully juggles her gig as a stay-at-home Momma to their 3 creative kiddos, while owning her own traveling art studio called Paints & Pints. As a writer, artist and self-proclaimed yogini, Kristin is a strong believer that few ‘funks’ in life can’t be eliminated by a good yoga practice, digging in the dirt or a blank canvas and a paintbrush!